What Do You Do When Family Is Unhealthy?

“Adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, and a remarkable creativity and insight. Deep within them – just beneath the wound – lies a profound spiritual vitality, a quiet knowing, a way of perceiving what is beautiful, right, and true. Since their early experiences were so dark and painful, they have spent much of their lives in search of the gentleness, love, and peace they have only imagined in the privacy of their own hearts.” – Wayne Muller

There is a rather popular saying that states that blood is thicker than water, while true in theory it is a rather tragic mindset to have. Family is tricky, there can be so much love, shared DNA, and memories but all this combined can’t always raise above in an unhealthy environment.

Family should not mean a constant sacrifice to your mental health or wellbeing. It should not mean depleting who you are for someone you do not want to be like. Family is a beautiful thing but for too many of us family means a cycle of unresolved generational trauma that causes a tremendous amount of pain and confusion.

It is scary to try and separate yourself from those cycles, to break the thing that caused you to break, to create distance between yourself and the toxic so you can become healthy. It is a brave thing to do, to choose yourself over people you are taught your entire life to put above everything else.

There is often a wake-up call that occurs when you realize that what you experienced was not okay. You peel away the layers and try to discover who you are, who you want to be, and what you need to do to get there.

Choosing your emotional and sometimes physical wellbeing instead of caving to what is expected of you or what has become normal. We need to release the stigma and welcome the healing. Family hurts sometimes, and you need to protect your peace at all costs.

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