“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.” – Robert Tew
My History With Anxiety
It has been present in my life for as long as I can remember.
In kindergarten, I was so filled to the brim with it that I had to stay home or go to the nurse’s office midway through the day to calm down.
Anxiety finds its home in my gut. I get a stomach ache, light-headed, sweaty, my thoughts and heart start racing. All of this is hidden underneath a single deep breath. It might be followed by me shaking my hands or sitting down for a second.
The first writing about anxiety can be traced back to ancient Roman and Greek times. Where Cicero wrote about a constricting disorder (anxiety) and defined it as a medical illness (aegritudo). The word anxiety comes from the Latin root angor and the corresponding verb ango, which means to constrict. Overtime angoisse, which means anguish in Latin has grown to be synonymous with ango.
The constricting feeling that anxiety provides you is unlike anything else. No rollercoaster, high dive, or skydiving experience can top it. When you can’t breathe, your body goes numb, and you simultaneously want to cry, throw up, and crumble into oblivion all at once.
It is different for each person. We are each unique individuals.
My panic attack may be caused by and look entirely different from someone else. For you grounding may help, for someone else they may need to go on a drive with the windows down or go on a run, some people need to be left alone.
No matter how severe or frequent you may experience these symptoms, or if you feel them at all. One thing stays constant, your feelings are valid and should be treated like they are. Don’t let anxiety or the fear of another anxiety attack stop you from living your life.