“Broken heart will turn into a stronger one within hope.” – Toba Beta
When you picture a broken heart what do you see? I am assuming it is something along the line of a girl on the couch with a sad movie on, eating some junk food, crying, surrounding by her own tissues. How accurate was I?
This is the conventional broken heart, what everyone sees when they think of someone getting their heartbroken. On this lovely Valentine’s day, where it is dumping snow outside my window, I am going to explore the unconventional broken hearts and the relationships surrounding them.
This can go one of two ways. It either is when a child goes off the deep end and the parent does not know how to renew the relationship or child. Or this is where a parent is not the parent a child needed. there is a certain kind of pain that occurs in a parent/child relationship. In the media, we constantly see these relationships as perfect, and when we are little we are also taught that our parents are perfect. It can be a difficult reality to wake up to when you see your parents mess up or your child does things you told them never to do.
Even though no one dies in this situation it is still a broken heart. The same way how in a relationship no one dies but the pain is felt in a similar manner.
If you have had a pet or animal to any extent there is a different kind of bond that is formed. They are so dependent on you as their caretaker that it can almost be too much to handle. An animal gives its owner so much love because of this. The animal might not fully comprehend the relationship or even why they love the owner so much, but that will not stop them from lovely them.
Because of this extreme love, that is given on both sides of this relationship when an animal or owner inevitably dies or if something occurs where you have to put the animal down. Your heartbreaks, and rightfully so.
As a mom to many plants, I can confidently say I treat my plants better than I treat myself. Similar to the pet/owner relationship, plants are almost fully dependent on you to take care of them. It is much less of a commitment than an animal is, but a commitment nevertheless. They also can survive often in the wild, in the right environment without your help which is slightly comforting. I don’t know about you but I do a lot to make sure my plants stay alive. When I moved back to Kansas from California I packed my plants up and flew with them. I have named my plants quite often as well and when they are doing well it helps me think that I am doing well too.
When a plant dies the sometimes harsh truth is that it is no one’s fault but your own. It is still painful for you to see something you care for die.
Even if you have never had the pleasure of being broke up with or dealing with something similar to that you have experienced a broken heart. Hearts and humans feel a lot, allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel to heal. Do not diminish your feelings due to the relationship, if a plant dies and you want to cry about then cry. Every single emotion you feel is valid, so allow yourself the space to express them.
The unconventional broken hearts club has room for all of us. There is no judgment, no victim-blaming, no dismissing of feelings. This is just a handful of experiences people might have that fall under the category of the unconventional broken heart, but the door is wide open for everything else. It is an opportunity to find new life through pain. On this holiday that can bring up so much pain, I want you to remember:
- You are loved
- You are stronger than you think
- You are worthy
- You are a prize