“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” – Shannon L. Alder
Having boundaries is extremely important, creating them is easy but enforcing them is the difficult part. Speaking them instead of just thinking about them.
This can sound like:
- I will end this phone call if you continue to shout and belittle me.
- I can stay for half an hour.
- Thank you for your offer but I cannot make it.
- I’m not comfortable discussing this.
- I need time to think about it, I’ll come back to you.
- Work emails are responded to during work times, not during weekends.
- I’m not comfortable with that. If you do that again I will have to leave.
- Trust me, I respect your opinions but this is my decision.
Notice the red flags if you come away from interactions feeling drained, stressed, or resentful. If this is the case, it’s often a sign you need to set a boundary.
Find out what part of the interaction brings about these feelings. Be as clear and direct as you can. Speak what you will and won’t allow. Be assertive, and state consequences where appropriate.
You may be met with resistance when you do this. Stay with the temporary discomfort for the long-term relief. You may need to repeat the act and stay the course that you’ve decided for your life.